Dessert

From The Fountain

The Black CowRoot Beer and vanilla ice cream or try it with lo-cal root beer & frozen yogurt. MOOOOOOOOO...9

Hot Fudge SundaePeople always try & dress this one up by adding candy & fruit (really?). I like to keep it simple... A couple scoops of vanilla ice cream, hot fudge, whipped cream & a cherry on top!Small 6.50Large 8

Giant Malts & ShakesChocolate, strawberry, vanilla, pineapple, coconut, banana, raspberry, oreo, caramel, peanut butter, coffee, dreamsicle. Name your flavor or combo7.95

Healthy Malts & ShakesAs above, made with low-fat yogurt and skim milk all for just.7.95

Cookie In A BowlA giant chocolate chip cookie right out of the oven, topped with vanilla ice cream & hot fudge.Half 6.50Full 10

Cookie In A Bowl: The SequelJust like the first one but with less plot holes and exposition. Made with a cinnamon sugar cookie & Gooey caramel sauce.Half 6.50Full 10

As a way to offset rising costs associated with the restaurant (food, beverage, labor, benefits, supplies), we have added a 3% surcharge to all checks. We do this in lieu of increased menu prices. You may request to have this taken off your check, should you choose.

Drinks

Classic Cocktails

East SideBeefeater London Dry Gin, Cucumber, Mint, Lime10

Dry Gin MartiniBeefeater London Dry Gin, Reserva Blanco Vermouth, Orange Bitters10

Dirty Vodka MartiniBasic Vodka, Extra Dry Vermouth, Olive Brine10

CosmopolitanBasic Vodka, Combier Liqueur D'orange, Lime, Cranberry10

Hanky PankyBeefeater London Dry Gin, Fernet Branca, Rosso Vermouth10

NegroniBeefeater London Dry Gin, Campari, Rosso Vermouth10

Amaretto SourAmaretto Lazzaroni, Lemon, Lime10

Old FashionedOld Forester 100 Bourbon, Sugar, Bitters10

Gold RushOld Forester 100 Bourbon, Lemon, Honey10

NegroniBeefeater London Dry Gin, Campari, Rosso Vermouth10

MojitoDon Pancho 8 Year Panama Rum, Mint, Lime, Club Soda10

MargaritaOlmeca Altos Plata Tequila, Combier Liqueur D'orange, Lime10

Beverages

Grunts GrindsWe grind our own blend of the highest end arabica coffee & also we filter the water to keep it from tasting crappy.2.75

Soda, Pop & Soda Popcoke, diet coke, sprite, perrier3.25

H2OA.K.A. bottled water2

Sprecher's Award-Winning Root Beer6.50

Please advise the restaurant of any dietary restrictions and allergies when dining in or placing a carry out order. Consuming raw or undercooked meats, poultry, seafood, shellfish, or eggs may increase your risk of foodborne illness. All items are subject to availability. | As a way to offset rising costs associated with the restaurant (food, beverage, labor, benefits, supplies), we have added a 3% surcharge to all checks. We do this in lieu of increased menu prices. You may request to have this taken off your check, should you choose.

Gluten Free

Please ask your server about our nightly specials. If you are looking to remove gluten from your diet But still dine in style you're in the right place. Below are a list of items we have carefully Selected to avoid that pesky protein

Please advise the restaurant of any dietary restrictions and allergies when dining in or placing a carry out order. Consuming raw or undercooked meats, poultry, seafood, shellfish, or eggs may increase your risk of foodborne illness. All items are subject to availability. | As a way to offset rising costs associated with the restaurant (food, beverage, labor, benefits, supplies), we have added a 3% surcharge to all checks. We do this in lieu of increased menu prices. You may request to have this taken off your check, should you choose.

Lunch and Dinner

The Digital Chopped Salad Bar

Believe it or not there's 9,986,548,936 possible combinations!

Why I Re-Invented The Salad Bar by R.J. GruntAfter many, many, many, many years of watching your failed attempts at a salad, I've found that some of your concoctions are quite disgusting, and frankly have gotten on my nerves. I mean come on, Broccoli-Cheddar Soup as a dressing? Flicking Garbanzo Beans across the room? Picking up Jell-O with your bare hands? Well now, welcome to my newest creation–the Digital Chopped Salad Bar. I don't know how my chefs did it, but they somehow fit the salad bar into your phone. Alas, the future has arrived. Come on and take a byte.16.95

Sandwiches

all burgers are char-broiled

HamburgerJuicy chopped sir-loin served on a sesame bum escorted by a heaping portion of cottage fries, a very dull pickle16.95

CheeseburgerAbsolutely the same as the above forementioned with one extremely gooey exception. You guessed it. CHEESE! Want the works? Just ask!16.95

GruntburgerThe cosmic cornerstone of culinary karma. Carefully hand crafted with fried onions, blue cheese & all that other stuff.16.95

Bacon CheddarburgerTake a juicy cheddar cheeze burger & top it with a rasher of maple-cured bacon & there you have it. Simple, refined, elegant... Sooooeee!!!!17.95

Turkey BurgerThis burger is no chicken when it joins up with tomato, lettuce, and Swiss cheese to fight for freedom, justice, and mayonnaise.17.95

Patty MeltDo you ever get a craving for one of these? Maybe it's the rye bread, or the sautéed onions, or the gooey American cheese... Or maybe it's just Patty.16.95

Veggie BurgerFake out your mouth and stick to your diet all at the same time. Topped with pepper jack cheese, lettuce, tomato, & salsa all on a honey oat wheat bun.14.95

Mr. ChickenA fowl homage to Joe & Dom at Mr. Beef. Sliced roasted chicken, au jus, with grilled peppers, provolone cheese, giardiniera.14.95

Improved & New Tuna MeltHoly cheddar cheese Batman! They take challah, a pile of tuna salad & tomato, then they add a gooey slice of cheddar cheese.14.95

Grilled CheeseThe cheesiest sandwich on the menu. Make it "Deluxe" with the addition of bacon & tomato for $1 extra.10.95

French Dip EnigmaStarts out credibly enough w/tender roast beef, au jus, horse- radish sauce & a side of marl- boro onions. But here's what's so totally confounding, it's served on italian bread!15.95

Triple Decker Turkey ClubFor those who would rather eat a turkey club than belong to one. Sliced turkey breast, lettuce, tomato, bacon, & mayo on toasted challah.16.95

All American Chicken Wraps, Baskets & Others

Chicken TendersServed with two profound dipping sauces; BBQ & Ranch. Or jack them up and ask for Buffalo style. Either way it's $17.9517.95

R.J.'s WingsYou choose from Buffalo, Spicy Hot or Tangy BBQ. We serve it w/ your choice of ranch or blue cheeze & celery whether you like it or not. 8 wings16.95

California WrapA west coast treat featuring crispy chicken, lots of chopped bacon, cheddar, avocado, lettuce, tomato & Flying Lizard Ranch dressing.15.95

Santa Fe WrapAl pastor aka "shepherd style" marinated chicken cinched up w/ pico de gallo, pepper jack cheese, guacamole, chipotle mayo and lettuce.15.95

Buffalo WrapImagine our buffalo wings with lettuce, tomato and bleu cheese all in one colossal tortilla... boneless of course I learned my lesson.15.95

Soup

French Onion SoupOur own home- made onion soup covered with crunchy croutons & melted cheezes.8.50

R.J.'s Famous ChiliHonored in 1979 as Chicago's best chili and I have been too slack to try to improve it ever since. Served w/cheddar & diced onion.7.95

Vegetarian ChiliThe answer my friend is blowing in the wind7.95

Appetizers

Better late than never! Amiright?

Pickle Fries2 thousand years of civilization $ it's all come down to fried pickles.9.50

Nachos NirvanaPreviously known as "The Great Pile O'Food," this nacho fabrication is built up with masses of chips, chili, guaca- mole, cheeze, pico de gallo, sour cream $ salsa.14.50

Buffalo NachosWe take nachos & cover them with chopped Buffalo chicken. psst... If you want to sound like an insider ask for "BUFF-CHICK-NATCH!"15.50

Potato SkinsA dear Fred of mine told me never to waste anything, so here we are. Served with a bacon & onion sour cream dip and salsa.10.95

R.J. Style Entrees

Baby Back RibsWe take dry rubbed all-nat-ural pork ribs and slather them in my super secret sauce and served with slaw & a pile of french fries. The cost? A mere $27.9527.95

Fish & ChipsFries are called chips in commonwealth nations and here we call Chips fries – makes sense if you don't think about it. Beer battered Icelandic cod, cottage fries, tartar & cocktail sauce.18.95

Chicken FajitasThin tender cuts of chicken sautéed w/ peppers & onions make up this tex mex favorite. Served with a side of Sante Fe rice, Guacamole, Salsa & a pile of warm our tortillas. Make 'em steak add $721.95

Cedar Planked SalmonI was going to reside my house but this seems like a better use of my old cedar planks. Maple dijon glazed and served with grilled asparagus.20.95

Sides

Cottage Fries4.50

French Fries5.50

Sweet Potato Fries6.50

Merkts Cheddar Cheese Sauce2.95

Cole Slaw3.95

Mac & Cheese6.95

*These items are cooked to order. Consuming raw or undercooked meats, poultry, seafood, shellsh, or eggs may increase your risk of foodborne illness. | As a way to offset rising costs associated with the restaurant (food, beverage, labor, benefits, supplies), we have added a 3% surcharge to all checks. We do this in lieu of increased menu prices. You may request to have this taken off your check, should you choose.